Bad day

Today was a bad day. Actually it started yesterday. Bret wasn't sleeping, he was fussy and seemed gassy. I rubbed his stomach, pumped his legs and fed him short, frequent feedings. He cried and cried - inconsolably. Within 24 hours, he probably slept a total of 4 or 5 hours. I even cried. Jason rocked him for a couple of hours so that I could sleep but then I felt guilty because he had to work in the morning so I took over.

No change this morning so I called the doctor's office. I was told to bring him in since he's so little. Of course I cried then too. The doctor looked him over and said that it seems like he may be constipated. OK. He pooped this morning but when is it constipation?! She advised that we feed him 1 oz of apple juice to get things going and, just for precautions sake, get blood work done to rule out any infections.

Jason and I took him to the lab right after the doctor's appointment. The technician called us back and when she looked at Bret she wasn't expecting a baby. She said that we have to wait until a second technician comes back so that she can hold his arm. What?! I asked her if the blood sample was coming from his heel and she said 'no, it has to be a sterile sample so we're going to draw it out of his arm'. Again, I started to cry. Jason told me to go for a walk and that he'll stay with Bret. I came back from my walk and heard Bret screaming. I almost lost it. I don't know who's the bigger baby, me or Bret. It was so sad.

I fed him the apple juice and nursed for a short time afterwards. He seems much calmer and is actually sleeping. *THANK GOD* Is there anything else I should do???

The doctor called with the results this afternoon. He's fine - no infections. She wants to see us back on Monday. Worst part about this whole ordeal is that Jason left for a business trip and won't be back until Friday. So, the baby that I am called my grandma and asked her if she'd spend the night with me. Thankfully she is driving down right now.

I pray that Bret is ok......I hate to see what a mess I'll be if something serious ever happens to him - God forbid.

New mom....can you tell?!

Precious moments

Thanksgiving has come and went. Now we have to look forward to Christmas. Bret did really well around the family. It was the first time he actually did the newborn thing - diaper change, eat and pass out - all day long! I couldn't believe it!



He's an angel. The only time he cries is when I don't feed him fast enough. It's so funny because he gets so excited and he starts squirming around with his mouth wide open. I start to laugh and then he gets mad and screams. He's starting to make noises (cooing and ahhing) and I love that he can focus on me instead of staring out into space. I love it when he looks at me and smiles. It makes me want to cry.

Some things I've learned since becoming a mom:

• I love giving Bret a bath (he smells so clean and baby-like; even if it's only for about 2 hours)
• Baby spit up is nasty
• Breastfed baby poop doesn't really smell that bad (I'm dreading it when he starts on solids!!)
• If a boy's weiner isn't pointed down in the diaper, pee will find any and every opening in a diaper (thanks Erika for that tip)
• Some 0-3 months clothes aren't really meant to fit until he's 3 months old
• If I've showered and brushed my teeth, then that's a successful day

I called the furniture place yesterday for an update on our order. Unfortunately, I did not get any good news. The guy told me that the estimated arrival date is "middle of January". Thankfully I did not blow up on the guy. I reminded him that the middle of January is way past 14 weeks for delivery and something has to be done about it. This is getting to be a little ridiculous. He advised me to talk to the owner. Great. The only thing I want to say to the owner is how absurd the delivery time is for furniture. Are customers expected to order furniture in their first trimester and then hope that it arrives on time? How does this place stay in business? GRRRRR

Jason is going out of town for work tomorrow through Friday. Bummer.

Other than that, things are going really well. I'll post 1 month pictures this weekend. Can you believe 1 month has gone by already?! Good grief.

Poopy stories

Yesterday was an overwhelming day, for several reasons. First, it seemed like Bret was having a difficult time pooping all day. He had plenty of poopy diapers but I knew whenever he was trying to "go". Poor guy. It was a struggle. I didn't know what to do for him so I just held him, rubbed his belly and pumped his legs to at least make him fart. The pediatrician said that breastfed babies can go a week without pooping because breast milk has such low "residue" (i.e. junk the body can't digest). I couldn't believe that!! How sad! Any advice on how to make his sessions less stressful? Is it something I ate?

Second reason why yesterday was overwhelming - Jason. Every Tuesday he works 1/2 day at the office and 1/2 day at home because of the conference calls to China and the 13 hour time difference. He told me on Monday that one of his co-workers is leaving the company and his last day is Wednesday (today). Jason wanted to know what I thought about him either working a full day on Tuesday so that he could go out to lunch w/ Phil before his last day or work his typical 1/2 day then meet up w/ his co-workers at a bar in the afternoon for a couple. It didn't matter to me, so I told him to make the decision since it's his co-worker. He decided to work a full day and go out to lunch. Cool. At 4pm, he called me and wanted to know if it was alright if he went to the bar for a couple of drinks after work. GRRRRR. Are you kidding me?! I didn't tell him what I was really thinking but I did let him know that I wasn't too keen on the idea. I ended the conversation with "if you go, I would appreciate it if you have one then come home". He was home at 4:30pm. He didn't go. I felt bad for about 2 seconds.

Our situation really stinks right now because everything of Bret's is scattered everywhere. His furniture hasn't come in yet so I'm changing him in his P@ck -N- Pl@y and a lot of his clothes, bath stuff, etc are just tossed in his room because I have no where to put them. Very frustrating. On weekday nights, I basically sleep downstairs on the couch b/c everything is there, plus Jason gets uninterrupted sleep (hopefully). I sleep in bed on the weekends but not for the entire night since Bret gets up around 1 - 2am and again at 3 - 4:30am. Once Bret's furniture comes in, he'll be in his crib and I'll *finally* be able to sleep in bed again. Hopefully he'll take to his crib easily! It's such a big bed for a little guy :)

Not trying to sound dismal today (although the weather is awful right now), just venting since I am super tired. I know it'll be a lot better once Bret can skip the 1 - 2am feeding. Hopefully in the next month or so!! No matter what, I'm truly grateful for him. He is half my heart.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I like to pretend

Well, it's been 2 weeks since we brought Bret home and it's been a learning experience. The first night was really tough - he didn't sleep much, seemed to be hungry all the time (my milk hadn't come in yet) and somewhat fussy. After that night, Jason and I were wondering what we had gotten ourselves into!! Since then, it has reached a good place. Bret seems to have somewhat of his own schedule. He feeds every 2.5 - 3 hours, stays up about an hour to 1.5 hours in between feedings and sleeps for about 3 hours at a time. I'm still trying to get into the groove of night feedings though. He eats around 10pm and will fall asleep around 11pm. By that time, Jason is already in bed and I sometimes end up spending most of the night downstairs. I will be the first to admit I hold Bret a lot. I know, I know (I could use some advice).....He tends to sleep longer and uninterrupted if I hold him as opposed to putting him down after he falls asleep. I don't want him to get used to someone holding him all the time but I also want him to sleep well. What should I do?

This may be TMI, but breastfeeding is going really well. Jason and I have introduced a bottle to him (he's fed from a bottle twice now). I need to look for a slower flow nipple b/c the @dvent #1 nipple still seems to be too fast for him. He gets a mouthful of milk and either drools it out from the corners of his mouth or just stops eating altogether. Are there any "newborn" nipples / bottles? I know he's eating well because he gained almost a pound within 8 days of being discharged from the hospital!!

I cut his nails for the first time yesterday. I was SO NERVOUS. They're not quite groomed how I'd like them to be, but they're better than they were before.

His belly button thingy fell off so I think I'm going to try his first bath tomorrow. This should be interesting. I have a feeling he is going to scream bloody murder.

I got an update from the furniture place. His chest and changing station/dresser are in but not the crib. Let's hope it comes in soon b/c I want to start getting into a routine with him to make the days/nights a little easier. Speaking of which, how soon did you (other moms) introduce a routine?

Other than that, it's been pretty mundane (thank God). He has a DR appointment in a couple of weeks. I'll post pics every month.

I pretend like I know what I'm doing!! LOL

Introducing......

.....Bret Daniel Stark

November 1, 2007

7lbs 15oz

21 inches

Here's how it all went down - it's going to be a long story:

At about 8:30pm on Halloween, Jason and I decided to go for a walk since it was so nice out and the kids had just wrapped up trick-or-treating. When we got home, I started to feel some contractions but that was "normal" for me after a 2 mile walk.

At about 10:30pm, the contractions didn't subside but getting closer together (about 4 minutes apart). I told Jason that if they didn't slow down by 11:00 then we'd go to the hospital. Needless to say, we ended up going a half hour later. A room was prepped for me and we were settled into it by midnight (so much for an October baby, right?!); my nurse checked me and I was dilated to 6cm and about 85% effaced. I was hooked up to an IV and walked around the L&D area for about 2 hours. My nurse came in around 2 am and said that she was going to break my water. At this point I started to get nervous because I knew there was no turning back. I can honestly say that that was almost the grossest feeling in the world. I felt like I was peeing my pants forever. As most of you know, I wanted to go unmedicated. The contractions were coming fast and furious after my water broke (about every 2 minutes) and I quickly dilated to 7cm. I will be the first to admit - I tried to be really strong and get through labor without an epidural but after laboring for an hour without one, I couldn't do it anymore. Jason kept telling me to get the epidural because he didn't want to see me struggle so much and the pain was so intense; so I did. At 3am, the epidural was administered and I felt like a million dollars. I slept until 6:30am, when I was checked again. My nurse said that I was ready but not thinned out totally. We waited until 7:30am when I started to push. The baby was born at 8:46am. Now I understand what other moms (and dads) mean when they say you can't describe into words what you feel when your baby is born. Very overwhelming and beautiful.

More later - Bret crying.