Whatever happened to customer service?

OMG, I just had the worst experience with customer service. Putting all my experiences where I've been put on hold for more than an hour (no lie) aside, M@sterC@rd gets the cherry.

I called to cancel my credit card to eliminate temptation of online shopping on an income I have no longer. Here is an abbreviated version of the 15 minute conversation, you'll get the gist of it:

Br@ndon (B): Hello Mrs. Stark, may I help you?
Diana (D): Yes, I'd like to close my account please.
B: I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am. I see you've been an excellent customer for X number of years. Why are you interested in closing the account?
D: I no longer need the card.
B: What don't you like about the card?
D: The annual fee, even if I'm carrying a zero balance.
B: I will waive the fee for 6 months for you to keep the acc't open.
D: If you waive the fee forever, then I'll keep the card.
B: I can't do that, but I can also offer 5,000 frequent flyer miles to your account.
D: Offer me two free tickets and no annual fee and I'll keep the card.
B: Sorry, I can not do that. Are you interested in another card?
D: Yes, one that offers frequent flyer miles on NWA.
B: Why? Their cards make you spend twice as much for the same amount of frequent flyer miles than we do.
D: I'm still interested in closing the account.
B: Why would you want to close this account and go with one that makes you spend 2X more money. That doesn't make any sense. What do you have to lose by staying with us?
D: Right now? My patience. I want to close this account.
B: Fine. Cut up your card, this account is now closed. *CLICK*

He actually hung up on me!!! No, "thank you for being a valued customer", "We're sorry to lose you as a valued customer"; NOTHING!!

He's just pissed off at the world because he got shitty Christmas gifts. @sshole....LOL